I have been bogged down with many issues in my life. Whenever things go horribly wrong then my mind will start thinking "why have I not started this so that I have a place to rant". You see, I seldom like to confide in people with my problems. Well, I just don't want to trouble people with my headache, heart ache and problems. In fact I have a friend who once told me that he finds it is as if there is a shield all around me. He tried many times to pry my mouth for much deeper understanding of me but cannot seem to do so.

Well, guess what? That is how I was brought up. I have to take care of my own problems. That is how independent I am all my life....and still am. See, me and my older sister who is 3 years my senior just isn't on good terms. She is completely jealous of me and this is the point I do not understand as all that I have she has too. Because of her jealousy, I always get bullied and I cannot complaint to anyone as I would get it worse from her after my complaining. My older sis would brew up such a temper and I would often be her target. Hence, the timid me. Till these days I still behave in the same way as that has formed part and puzzle of my character.

You see, with me being this way, I will keep my friends at bay. There is no closeness between them and me as the shield is always in the way. Sometimes I so wish I am not the way I am, at least I can have more close friends and buddies then. Actually, come to think of it, with me not wanting to talk about my problems could also be pride on my part. Portraying a happy family is like guarding my family's name, my name!!

What do you all think about the way that I am? Please feel free to drop your comment if you so happens to be passing by :)